Cold Drank

Essays and fiction that explore popular culture and politics.

Archive for August, 2008


Ether for You’s and Michelle’s Synthetic Speech

Sunday, August 31st, 2008
710,006 Cold Dranks Delivered, DAILY ETHER!, Uncategorized | 20 Comments »

Ether. “I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don’t belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, [...]

Ether for Anyone Other than Hillary Clinton as Vice President

Friday, August 22nd, 2008
DAILY ETHER!, Uncategorized | 13 Comments »

Ether. Prepare for one of those short, bullshit soap box joints that I hate. Something nice is cooking.  Some of you have made the plea for Obama picking Mean Joe Biden, a tough-nosed hawk, for VP. Others have made the plea for the governor of Virginia and senator from Indiana, in the hopes that one [...]

Ether for Knocking Obama’s Hustle — (rewinnnnnd)

Sunday, August 17th, 2008
710,006 Cold Dranks Delivered, DAILY ETHER!, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

A lot of pundits see Obama on the ropes right now. They see his moves to the center, his so-called flip-flopping, the statistical “dead heat” as the beginning of the end. I had to revisit this piece to remember that Obama, like both Clintons, McCain and Bush, will do anything to gain the right to [...]

Ether for Shameless Niggas Who Want “THEIR” money and Popeyes Chicken — A Parody of Parody

Friday, August 15th, 2008
Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

Ether. When nothing in the world makes sense, blame George Bush, the de facto recession and that A Milli beat… I know a Nigga who wants her money. This Nigga is after me. Last Sunday morning, I was sitting in my bedroom thinking about Bernie Mac and Moms Mabley when someone banged on my front [...]

Ether for the Death of Bernie Mac

Monday, August 11th, 2008
710,006 Cold Dranks Delivered, DAILY ETHER!, On Parole (essays) | 6 Comments »

Ether. “We all been afraid to tell the truth. I want to make you cry. I want to make you think. I want to make you laugh.” – Bernie Mac Not so deep down, we all know that safety is an illusion. That’s why most of us do everything we can (healthy and unhealthy) to [...]

Ether for John McWhorter and Bird Chestesses — Revised

Friday, August 8th, 2008
710,006 Cold Dranks Delivered, DAILY ETHER! | 19 Comments »

Ether. So who would have guessed that John Edwards is ho-ish and that Pineapple Express did more to make a Nigga thankful he’s not white and doesn’t smoke weed than anything I’ve ever experienced?  Let’s pause for a second … If any of you sippers of this Cold Drank ever catch me talking or writing [...]

Ether for George Harmon

Monday, August 4th, 2008
710,006 Cold Dranks Delivered, DAILY ETHER!, Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

I hate the man in this picture. His name is George Harmon. George Harmon whupped my ass a few years ago and I’m ready for a rematch. I want to write something interesting and meaningful about George Harmon but I can’t, because — like I said — I hate him. This isn’t one of those [...]

Ether for Johnny Shoat Arms and The Race Card

Friday, August 1st, 2008
DAILY ETHER! | 6 Comments »

Ether. My Dearest Johnny “Shoat Arms” McCain, I come in peace. You are repping the shoat armed men of America inspirationally well. I assumed that the best a shoat armed man could hope for was George Bush, but ol’ W. is Scottie Pippen compared to you. I am 6’1, but wield the reach of someone [...]